Over the last year I've fallen in love with yoga. It's become more than just a workout, it's like my church. Every time I go I leave feeling better than when I went in.. but this isn't a post about yoga, it's a post about something I learned in yoga: making space.
A few weeks ago I had an instructor tell me that we have to let go of things that do not serve us in order to make space for the things that do. This has been simmering in my mind since then, because I am so bad about holding on to things... mostly anger, hatred, and guilt. And also because I fancy myself a minimalist, and the idea of getting rid of old things to make room for new ones resonates with me.
So much of my head space is occupied by things I need not be thinking about. Mostly thoughts of guilt. As most of you know, last fall I went through a major life crisis, and I dealt with it in a way that I'm not proud of. I haven't been able to forgive myself, even though the person I hurt (Bryan) has forgiven me. I think about the hurt I caused him daily, and I feel bad.
I know that I can't torture myself forever. Really, a year of self loathing is a few days too many, so I've been working on letting go of it. When my mind starts to drift in that direction, instead of letting it get to me, I gently remind myself that it's ok; time has moved on, Bryan has moved on, and I need to as well, because I'm not benefiting in any way by continuing to think about it.
I find that things like this are easier to talk about than to actually do, but I've also learned that baby steps will eventually turn into leaps and bounds, and I hope that soon that part of my life will be a passing thought.
So there is your sermon for the week. Feel free to skip church and blame (thank) me. ;) I hope that maybe someone reading this will resolve to let go of a negative feeling or two, to allow space for something more positive. Namaste, and happy Tuesday. :)