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f i v e

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Emma,

Tomorrow you will be five years old. F I V E. I cannot force my brain to comprehend this. I remember the summer of 2008, the summer before I met you, and it doesn't feel like five years ago. I spent that summer in the bathtub reading books on how to be a good parent, putting your nursery together, and wondering what you were going to look like. Oh, the wondering. I had so many dreams about you. (Thank goodness you didn't come out looking like Ron Weasley - that dream was reoccurring!)

The first time I saw you I laughed. I was so happy that it was all I could do. Little did I know, this was a precursor to what life with you would be like. You're really funny!

I remember the nite we brought you home from the hospital like it was yesterday. I played you the heartbeat sound on your noise machine, so loudly that it echoed throughout our entire apartment because I thought it would comfort you. I checked on you no less than 20 times that nite. I laid awake, on the couch, worrying about everything that could go wrong, and praying to the universe that you would always be ok. Here we are five years later, and well, you're alright, kid. ;)

You've grown from a giggly baby into a little kid with a squeaky voice, bruisy knees, and most importantly, the sweetest soul. Everyone you meet sees that quality in you, and it makes me so proud. A couple of weeks ago I took you to the zoo, and before bed I asked you what your favorite thing about the zoo was, expecting you to tell me about an animal. You tilted your head, smiled, and replied "Spending time with you, Mom" and you gave me a hug. I quietly cried myself to sleep that nite, because I just can't even believe that you happened to me. Thank you for being the door to another world.

-All my lovin


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